Dear Tash, (and whoever else needs to read this)
I want to start this letter by saying that you are loved. You have come such a long way this year. From someone who hated taking trains you’re out here taking flights left right and centre. You have overcome one of the worst bouts of depression that you have ever experienced. You are learning to manage your anxiety everyday and are taking things in you stride. 10 months into a 14-month long adventure and you’re still going.
You should be proud of yourself. But first and foremost you need to be kinder to yourself. As great as you are, you aren’t superwoman. You are prone to burnout and you can only push yourself so far. No one will be disappointed in you if you take a day off, don’t publish a blog post in a while or if you sit in your pyjamas and watch Jane the Virgin all day. I know you, your worst fear is being seen as a failure, seen as incapable and disappointing the people that you love. But, I can tell you for a fact that the people around you, who really know, love and care about you, who read your blog, are already proud of you and how far you’ve come.
What I want to say in this letter is that the opinions of others do not dictate the person that you are and will become. You don’t take critique too well, but you’re learning. You base your self-worth on the value of how others see you- or rather, how you perceive them seeing you. Forget that. You need to take your own advice; what do you always tell other people? Back yourself. You need to do that more too. This year, you have met people who have made you feel so loved, happy and appreciative. And, on the flipside you’ve also met people who made you feel crap about yourself, made you question your worth, value and standards.
Never compromise on your standards. Yes you, like everyone else, have superficial preferences, but we both know that at the core, you want and deserve someone who treats you with respect, love and care and treats you like an equal. You aren’t asking for the world, and if someone doesn’t meet those requirements then they aren’t for you. Don’t let anyone dupe you into believing you’re the problem- that your standards are too high, unattainable and that you’re asking too much.
Equally, you need to meet those requirements too. You, first and foremost, are the most important person in your life. The relationship that you build with yourself lasts a lifetime. I know it sounds corny, but you need to take all of those traits and qualities and apply them to you own relationship with yourself. You need to treat yourself with care, be kind to yourself: learn to say no and uphold the values that are so dear to you. You already do this 80% of the time and I’m proud of the progress you have made- but you need to believe it all the time.
You are great at giving advice to others, but you also need to take your own advice. Never let anyone make you feel less than you are. It is a lesson that we continue to develop and hone throughout our lives and it won’t come overnight. But, we will get there. Don’t overanalyse, don’t try to get into the minds of other people- just stay in your lane, focus on yourself and you will continue to grow and blossom. As much as you have this unquenchable desire to be liked by everyone, it simply isn’t possible. Yeah, I think you’re great but not everyone will- and that’s okay. Shake it off and let it go, you don’t like everyone in the world so how on earth can you expect it to work the other way around.
So remember, never compromise on what is important to you, trust your instincts and of course, stay excellent.
From, Tash
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